Generally this work is good and you should be proud of your effort and the animation principles that have been displayed.
Vimeo: It would be great if you could put this test up on Vimeo. That way I could access the original file and play it through VirtualDub frame-by-frame to give you a better critique and make the critique more accurate by referring to frames by numbers.
Files for critiquing: To help the critiquer, I think you should number your frames in the top right hand corner of the page. In addition circle the numbers of the drawings for your story telling poses (key frames) and circle your extremes (key frames @ the furthest extent of an action: the point where the primary animated object changes direction). Also underline the numbers of your breakdown poses that depict the path of action (arcs) and the spacing.
First impression: The first thing that catches my eye is the impact of the knife on whatever it is chopping.
Even in a rough animation like this it would be good to see the object the chef is chopping, or at least a bench top to orientate the viewer to the expected consequences (he's going to chop something) of the physical action. You can make the 'bench' as a single ruff image on a new layer, if you are working in Flash. Make the lines of the layout furniture a different colour.
Now some acting: When you act this scene out take special mental note of where you look. I think the chef's eye line/ eye direction should be watching the target. In this test his head lifts up, which seems like he looks up. Maybe lifting the shoulders rather than tilting the head back/chin up would help build the anticipation without making the character take his eyes off the target?
There are some key drawings missing in terms of when he moves his left hand (the one holding the thing on the bench). At the moment the chop and the movement of the left hand away from the bench are timed on the same key drawing. To break up the evenness of the arm movements, I would suggest putting in a key drawing where he lifts his left hand away, maybe just up a bit, before the chop hits, and then swing both arms. Especially as he is not looking where he is chopping.
Chop consequence: After the chop contact, think about how you can 'sell' the power and speed of the chop. Does the knife bounce up? Does the knife shudder? Does the knife chop into the bench and the chef's arm shudders?
Chop build up/anticipation: I see this chop action almost like an execution scene in a movie. The axeman always puts some thought into the chop, so allow some thinking time at the start of the sequence. You might leave 40 or 50 frames there for a deep breath, or even a shrug or a sigh. Maybe shifting the feet into a wider, or more solid ready stance and pose would be some nice subtle ‘getting ready’ acting?
Then, in the movies, the executioner slowly raises his axe, or the psycho slowly raises their knife, the music builds. He is thinking about his aim and making a good clean cut. To build the idea that this is a big chop, I think allowing the knife to raise slowly through the arc, easing in to the hold at the top position would sell the chop better. It is something to try.
Then right at the top in the hold where the knife is at the highest point put in a 2 to 4 frame micro anticipation of every body part moving up just a tiny amount and the knife just moving back slightly before starting the arc downward.
In the chop arc: Think of putting in a smear frame. I can't count how many frames the chop is, but a smear helps better visually describe the arc and give the illusion of speed. Chuck Jones used the smear frame to great effect. I think I detect a speed line in there for a frame, so that helps sell the arc in this line test. The knifepoint can drag behind the hand in those few frames and it should be animated on ones as it is a fast action. Another technique to sell it is drawing a few arm outlines in each frame of the chop to describe the spacing of the chop. It looks weird as a drawing but if it only appear in the animation for one or two frames, it may be a good effect. Some 3D animators will use that technique as they can't smear frames unless they do it in post production in After Effects.
Layperson critique: I showed your work to a person who is not an animator (the Ian Lacey "Show the Cleaning Lady Technique"). The critique was: "It is good. I like the hat movement. Maybe it is too fast."
From that critique I would advise give the chef thinking/breathing time at the start, build the tension with a slow knife lift arc anticipation into the hold, keep the chop at the same speed for effect, sell the chop more afterward with the effect it has on the knife or the arm, keep the secondary action of the hat and the apron.
Body position: The centre line (horizontal - depicting the top of an apron) on the chef doesn't move convincingly. It does move up slightly into the stretch at the top of the arc. Consider the chef could go up on his toes to stretch the line of action in that pose and create more energy building into the chop.
The time the apron line doesn't look convincing is on the chop. To sell the weight of the chop that apron line should go below the neutral pose height and then return to the standing pose height. Go past and return. By stopping that line the weight in the hips/ the core seem to hit an invisible wall. The exception to this would be if the chef's feet lift off the floor as a consequence of the power of the chop, then the apron line would lift up as the whole body lifts.
Secondary action and overlapping action: The secondary action of the hat and apron is a nice touch and shows consideration of these animation principles.
There is plenty of opportunity to consider overlapping actions all through the character's body as a consequence of the impact of the chop the chef's head could continue down for a few frames after the knife hits. That would allow drag animation on the hat and it overlapping forward as the head starts to return to the finish position. There is nice squash on the hat at the moment selling the chop but that action could be broken down more. The shoulders could rise up for a few frames after the chop and then settle back down.
I think the timing and spacing of the chop work quite well to depict the key story telling moment of the story of the chef who chopped something.
My name is Ben and I'm a student of the craft of animation. Here you'll find various pieces of animation that I'm working on. Please feel free to give constructive criticism!
2 comments:
Hi Ben
Generally this work is good and you should be proud of your effort and the animation principles that have been displayed.
Vimeo: It would be great if you could put this test up on Vimeo. That way I could access the original file and play it through VirtualDub frame-by-frame to give you a better critique and make the critique more accurate by referring to frames by numbers.
Files for critiquing: To help the critiquer, I think you should number your frames in the top right hand corner of the page. In addition circle the numbers of the drawings for your story telling poses (key frames) and circle your extremes (key frames @ the furthest extent of an action: the point where the primary animated object changes direction). Also underline the numbers of your breakdown poses that depict the path of action (arcs) and the spacing.
First impression: The first thing that catches my eye is the impact of the knife on whatever it is chopping.
Even in a rough animation like this it would be good to see the object the chef is chopping, or at least a bench top to orientate the viewer to the expected consequences (he's going to chop something) of the physical action. You can make the 'bench' as a single ruff image on a new layer, if you are working in Flash. Make the lines of the layout furniture a different colour.
Now some acting: When you act this scene out take special mental note of where you look. I think the chef's eye line/ eye direction should be watching the target. In this test his head lifts up, which seems like he looks up. Maybe lifting the shoulders rather than tilting the head back/chin up would help build the anticipation without making the character take his eyes off the target?
There are some key drawings missing in terms of when he moves his left hand (the one holding the thing on the bench). At the moment the chop and the movement of the left hand away from the bench are timed on the same key drawing. To break up the evenness of the arm movements, I would suggest putting in a key drawing where he lifts his left hand away, maybe just up a bit, before the chop hits, and then swing both arms. Especially as he is not looking where he is chopping.
Chop consequence: After the chop contact, think about how you can 'sell' the power and speed of the chop. Does the knife bounce up? Does the knife shudder? Does the knife chop into the bench and the chef's arm shudders?
Chop build up/anticipation: I see this chop action almost like an execution scene in a movie. The axeman always puts some thought into the chop, so allow some thinking time at the start of the sequence. You might leave 40 or 50 frames there for a deep breath, or even a shrug or a sigh. Maybe shifting the feet into a wider, or more solid ready stance and pose would be some nice subtle ‘getting ready’ acting?
Then, in the movies, the executioner slowly raises his axe, or the psycho slowly raises their knife, the music builds. He is thinking about his aim and making a good clean cut. To build the idea that this is a big chop, I think allowing the knife to raise slowly through the arc, easing in to the hold at the top position would sell the chop better. It is something to try.
Then right at the top in the hold where the knife is at the highest point put in a 2 to 4 frame micro anticipation of every body part moving up just a tiny amount and the knife just moving back slightly before starting the arc downward.
In the chop arc: Think of putting in a smear frame. I can't count how many frames the chop is, but a smear helps better visually describe the arc and give the illusion of speed. Chuck Jones used the smear frame to great effect. I think I detect a speed line in there for a frame, so that helps sell the arc in this line test. The knifepoint can drag behind the hand in those few frames and it should be animated on ones as it is a fast action. Another technique to sell it is drawing a few arm outlines in each frame of the chop to describe the spacing of the chop. It looks weird as a drawing but if it only appear in the animation for one or two frames, it may be a good effect. Some 3D animators will use that technique as they can't smear frames unless they do it in post production in After Effects.
Layperson critique: I showed your work to a person who is not an animator (the Ian Lacey "Show the Cleaning Lady Technique"). The critique was: "It is good. I like the hat movement. Maybe it is too fast."
From that critique I would advise give the chef thinking/breathing time at the start, build the tension with a slow knife lift arc anticipation into the hold, keep the chop at the same speed for effect, sell the chop more afterward with the effect it has on the knife or the arm, keep the secondary action of the hat and the apron.
Body position: The centre line (horizontal - depicting the top of an apron) on the chef doesn't move convincingly. It does move up slightly into the stretch at the top of the arc. Consider the chef could go up on his toes to stretch the line of action in that pose and create more energy building into the chop.
The time the apron line doesn't look convincing is on the chop. To sell the weight of the chop that apron line should go below the neutral pose height and then return to the standing pose height. Go past and return. By stopping that line the weight in the hips/ the core seem to hit an invisible wall. The exception to this would be if the chef's feet lift off the floor as a consequence of the power of the chop, then the apron line would lift up as the whole body lifts.
Secondary action and overlapping action: The secondary action of the hat and apron is a nice touch and shows consideration of these animation principles.
There is plenty of opportunity to consider overlapping actions all through the character's body as a consequence of the impact of the chop the chef's head could continue down for a few frames after the knife hits. That would allow drag animation on the hat and it overlapping forward as the head starts to return to the finish position. There is nice squash on the hat at the moment selling the chop but that action could be broken down more. The shoulders could rise up for a few frames after the chop and then settle back down.
I think the timing and spacing of the chop work quite well to depict the key story telling moment of the story of the chef who chopped something.
Nice work Ben. Thanks for posting it up.
Thank's Frank! That was exactly the sort of thing I was after. I'll be sure to try your suggestions and then post it back up.
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